Me and my BIG mouth!

So I head out to my local McMall today to do my duty as a patriotic consumer of worthless goods; maybe pickup a Motorhead CD or two and get a bite to eat. Right on the edge of the food court there is a micro-branch of my bank. Nothing fancy, just a couple of teller stations and a loan desk. What a bonus- I'll inquire about an auto loan while I'm here. Right after my usual three Snappy-Dogs and tankard of Mountain Dew, of course. I polished it all off and went to talk to the loan gimp. This guy looked like he jacked off all over the Wall Street Journal every night for gratification. I mean a real pencil neck. I spilled all my info and signed on the line; he told me to come back in an hour to "hash out the details". The Mountain Dew was circulating well so I stopped off at the restrooms at the back end of the food court. (the location makes sense; they don't have to pump the swill very far to Applebee's) SO...

I enter an empty restroom and retreat to the far stall. I just prefer a stall for some reason- don't ask me why. I settled in for a long, fine whiz and had just finished up when I hear somebody come in whistling a tune and mumbling to himself. He doesn't realize I'm in the stall as he stands in front of the urinal and rips out a brisk fart. BRRRAAAAAAPPPP-PPPP! I couldn't resist. I piped up "Speak again! O wise, toothless one!" -now I really love that line and it never fails me to get a laugh, but this time nothing. Not even a snicker. I sheepishly waited in the stall for the poor sap to leave. Oh well, they can't all be gems.

About an hour later, my shopping is done and I'm back at the loan desk. Pencil neck greets me warmly and outlines the details of the loan including tons of other facts, figures and offers that I don't need to hear. He's proud of his financial wizardry so I pump him a little: "Gee, you seem to know everything there is to know."

"Well I should, for I am the wise, toothless one."
Oops. I think I'm going to shop for a loan somewhere else...